Friday, November 5th, 2021 | Writing

Thoughts stream through our head constantly at a rate of roughly 3000 thoughts per hour.
I’ve been reflecting on the the stories we tell ourselves about what others think of us.
We choose to attribute those stories to others.

Someone looks at us.
We can choose to think they’re thinking mean thoughts or positive thoughts.
The truth is, unless they tell us, we have no idea what they are thinking.
And quite frankly, it’s none of our business.
Most likely, they aren’t thinking of us at all.

Why would we allow somebody else’s perspective of us to trump our own perception of ourselves? Especially when, again, we have attributed that thought to them in the first place.
If I’m feel self-conscious of a pimple on my face, I might believe that that’s all people can see.
In reality, they are probably noticing my lovely eyes or my white teeth.
If they are thinking negatively about my pimple, fuck them anyway.
No one’s perfect.
Perfection does not exist.

Even if I were to be standing in the middle of a circle with everyone around pointing at me and telling me I’m ugly-fat-stupid-lazy, why should I believe them?
Isn’t my own self-evaluation, my own self-worth worth more than the opinions of a bunch of people who don’t know the heart of me?

Everyone is faced with crippling self-doubt.
The only ones who aren’t are either psychopathic or work daily to build up their self-esteem.
We can literally choose to make ourselves feel great about who we are or to feel shitty.
It really is a choice.

And yes, it takes work.

We will naturally default to shitty.
We are programmed to think it’s a tiger in the bush rather than a blue jay.
In the limbic system, self preservation keep us in panic mode.
It’s tricky, that amygdala.

As so many of us do, I have resting bitch face.
Especially when I’m tired, thinking, or listing to music.
When I was lecturing at university, I would tell my students to unplug from technology on their commutes.
To be in the moment.
To be present with the strangers around them.
To smile when they make eye contact.
So often we are caught in our own thoughts and we don’t realize that we are seemingly scowling at others.

Share some joy and peace instead.
Choose your thoughts carefully.

Choose love and kindness.
Not just for others, but most importantly, for YOU!
It feels good to feel good.

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